I'm taking a bit of a break from livejournal. I hardly update here anymore and the only real reason I have for using LJ at all is to read my friendslist. I'll still be reading it, but I did a cut of everyone I haven't spoken to in a long time or who doesn't update, and anyone I couldn't remember why we were friends in the first place, so it's scaled down. Everyone that's still here, I read your journals with interest. If however you want to defriend me because I won't be posting regularly anymore, I quite understand. (I'm not really bothered about friending one way or another...)

So, sorry. I might come back after a while. Hey, I'm still on facebook.

Current Location: my room
Current Mood: bored
Current Music: Massive Attack - Exchange

I am home. I feel like I should blog more. Maybe I will write a more serious post later but for now it is all about the stupid memes.

( These things are so laaaaaaaame )

Home must really be boring if I just did 100 stupid meme questions just to amuse myself.

Tags: memes
Current Mood: complacent
Current Music: Sebastien Tellier - La Ritournelle

I have just achieved the greatest accomplishment of my life: every single one of my 3,850 songs in iTunes has an album name. I have spent days filling them all in using track listings from Wikipedia and Amazon, and it is done. I am the winner. To celebrate, here is an iTunes meme about shuffle telling me things (with all of the album names just in case you care):

1. What is my mood right now? Neutral Milk Hotel, "Holland, 1945" (from In the Aeroplane Over the Sea).
2. What is tomorrow going to be like? Cake, "Short Skirt, Long Jacket" (from Comfort Eagle). I do actually need to go to the bank so obviously I will borrow a pen from someone there and then fall in love with them.
3. Am I loved right now? New Order, "Vicious Streak" (from Get Ready).
4. What do people think of me today? Elvis Costello, "(What's so Funny About) Peace, Love and Understanding?" (from The Very Best of Elvis Costello).
5. What will my week be like? Nickel Creek, "When in Rome" (from Why Should the Fire Die). This is appropriate as I am going to America on Saturday and will be expected to act like other Americans I suppose.
6. Love horoscope of the week? Barenaked Ladies, "Alcohol" (from Stunt). I'm not too unhappy with that.
7. Where will I be a year from today? Pixies, "Dead" (from Doolittle) WHAT
8. What is the love of my life doing right now? Ben Folds Five, "The Battle of Who Could Care Less" (from Whatever and Ever Amen). If the as-of-yet unseen love of my life is a wry indictment of hipster culture I guess that's okay.
9. What will be the best part of this week? Andrew Bird, "The Naming of Things" (from The Mysterious Production of Eggs). Good, I enjoy naming things. I wonder what I will name.
10. Bonus Question: Dinner - thoughts? Justin Timberlake, "SexyBack" (from Future Sex/Love Sounds). Maybe me and Tom Paul will have dinner together!

Tags: memes, music
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Justin Timberlake - SexyBack

I'm in the library twenty minutes before it closes which is to be honest one of my favourite places/times to be. Ideally I'd be writing my 2000-word classical art essay that's due for Monday but I can't seem to get into it; I'll have to do it tomorrow. If only any of the books were available...annoying. I like the third floor next to the computer lab best. I should just move in. Would anyone notice? It's dark outside which is also nice...if these windows could open, I'd have to say I was in utopia.

I've gotten to the point where I could call the time when I was going home "soon," 24 March to be precise. I was thinking about America today, mostly in relation to the weather but also in relation to the idea of cars and outdoor barbeques and "big" houses that aren't attached to their neighbours. And lakes with boats on them, as if I lived near any lakes at all.

Current Location: 3rd floor
Current Music: Ben Folds Five - Brick (live)

In honour of yesterday (one of my favourite holidays in fact) here is a song for you.

Scissor Sisters - Might Tell You Tonight

I've been waiting for the day
Where I can throw away these numbers
That line my dresser drawers and cupboards
Start me over; life seems so much slower
With your toothbrush by the mirror
Can I make it any clearer?

Current Mood: calm

1. What's the first book you remember reading that didn't have pictures? How did you discover it?: I'm pretty sure it was Emily Post's Etiquette (the Elizabeth Post revised edition from the 1960s) which I'm sure I picked up because I liked the way it looked (i.e. old, with nice-smelling pages and embossed titles).

2. What's the last book you re-read?: The Alchemist because I hadn't read it in a long time and got given it for Christmas. It was a lot more interesting than I remembered.

3. Name a book in your Amazon cart or wishlist (or the equivalent) and tell us why you want it.: Umm I don't think I have an amazon wishlist, but I'd quite like to get another copy of the Qu'ran because I lost mine in Bedlam...I also need to find a good book about pattern drafting so I can make my Bedlam Ball dress next month.

4. Do you choose books by author or by subject/topic?: Both...but it would probably be better to say I generally choose books based on reputation and recommendation.

5. List three classics you read in school and whether you liked them at the time and what you think about the experience in retrospect: The issue here is that by the time we started reading "classics" in school I was only a few years younger than I am now, so my experience hasn't changed much in retrospect. However, three classics that we read that I liked and continue to like are Hamlet, To Kill a Mockingbird, and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead although I suppose in retrospect I like that even more now that I have seen it on stage directed by mattwieteska. I realise two of those are plays and not books, what can I say, AP English Lit was just set out that way.

6. What book do you have in your bag or on your bedside table now?: Neal Stephenson's Quicksilver, Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, and Jane Martin's Collected Plays 1980-1995.

7. A) If you mostly read for pleasure, name a non-fiction book you think everyone would appreciate.- or -
B) If you mostly read for academic/intellectual reasons, name a pure-entertainment book you think everyone would appreciate: I mostly read for pleasure I would say. If there were one non-fiction book that I reckon everyone would appreciate it is probably Ways of Seeing by John Berger...although it's not the most useful art theory book out there it is the most accessible and interesting to the layman.

Now I must write an "internet discussion forum" post about the Kinsey Report...should be fun!

Tags: books, memes
Current Mood: content
Current Music: Sufjan Stevens - Vito's Ordination

Oh my goddddd why do I feel like I am going to die right now...this is ridiculous. I barely drank anything last night...well that's not true but it was NOT enough to give me a headache of this magnitude. Here is a beakdown so you can see for yourself:

8pm: One beer with dinner.
10:30pm: One gin and cranberry whilst at Alexander's.
11:30pm-1am: Two beers (Stella)
1:30am onwards: Half of a fairly weak gin and tonic which I ended up diluting with water because I don't like gin and tonic.

Over a period of like five hours, that's NOTHING. And yet it feels like someone has taken a jackhammer to my forehead. All I can do now is go outside and pray for no sudden noises or flashes of light.

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: Catatonia - Mulder And Scully

THINGS I LOVE RIGHT NOW:

1. My job: getting paid for long shifts where I do a few hours of actual work and six or seven hours of sitting around, free taxis home, a much-needed influx of testosterone to counteract all of the feminine in my life right now, getting to run around "behind the scenes" and pretend I'm important because I have an ID badge which says DJ on it.

2. My university schedule: solid, busy days on Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday, a three day weekend, and a Monday that allows me to ease back into the week as classes don't start until 2.

3. My play: nine amazing actresses who show up to rehearsals, learn their lines without me asking, give amazing performances and insights into their character, and constantly astonish me with their enthusiasm.

4. My lecturers: Jill Burke just finished a lecture series that made me ACTUALLY excited about the Renaissance which I have never been before, Peter Rimmer leads one of the most fun and talkative tutorials I've ever been in, I have gone to every single American History lecture so far.

THINGS I HATE RIGHT NOW:

1. 99% of my classmates: The vast majority of history of art students are too loud, rude about the course, unintelligent, uninteresting, and basically silly little rich girls who would rather strangle themselves with their pashminas than do any actual work or have any insight into their course. There are a few exceptions.

2. My love life: Nonexistant and likely to stay that way.

3. The Flat Company: annoying and they CAN'T FUCKING SPELL in their letters to us. Making us consider moving even though we'd agreed we'd all like to stay in this flat.

I'm doing Big Cheese tonight...will have to do some actual work rather than easy society discos. Hooray, sort of.

Tags: lists
Current Mood: refreshed
Current Music: Hot Hot Heat - Bandages

I had a dream last night that one of my teeth (the front right one) fell out while I was walking around Edinburgh. I put it into a napkin and tried to get back to Bedlam so I could look up a dentist who could maybe fix it but I never got there for some reason- ended up in Tollcross instead, trying not to open my mouth so that no one could see.

Which is interesting because I used to have body-coming-apart dreams constantly, things like my fingernails just coming loose and melting away, my hair falling out, my eyes disintegrating, or (most vividly) someone pushing the wrong way on my joints so that they just snapped off, like hinges. But I hadn't had any since coming to university which I assume says something about my body confidence etc. This one was different than the old dreams, though, because of the sense of shame throughout, the sense that I absolutely could not let anyone see I didn't have one of my two front teeth, as then they wouldn't respect me.

Current Mood: confused
Current Music: John Prine - Saddle In The Rain

The older I get the more I realise how amazing the Rolling Stones are.

Tags: music
Current Mood: weird
Current Music: You Can't Always Get What You Want

I feel the need to write SOMETHING. So.

( 2006, I don't really expect you to read this )

Tags: memes
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Radiohead - How To Disappear Completely

It's like for the first time I might potentially have to think about being, in some vague way, amongst some extremely small section of the overall population, for a completely unfathomable reason...popular. It's a far cry from school, I think, but there you go.

Current Mood: happy

( thing that Claire, Evil, Ruth and Alex did )

I am toying with the idea of buying a PS2 for the flat. I am going to go read Common Sense now.

Tags: memes
Current Mood: crazy
Current Music: Frou Frou - Hear Me Out

( hey look music soundtrack meme thingy under here )

It would be interesting to do that again, but entirely with songs I think would be appropriate for each category. I like to take fate into my own hands after all.

FACT: All I think about right now are kitchens. This is true. Yesterday I gathered a washing machine, dining room table, cooker, and various other kitchen accoutrements. That completes my units search (I think) but that is not enough. Still need more kitchen stuff. Here is a poem I composed about kitchens.

O Kitchens
I adore you
It is a love/hate relationship

Oven

Kitchens

Tags: memes, music, theatre
Current Mood: contemplative

Yesterday at Ishbel's dinner party we all went around in a circle and said our top five favourite things, activities really, it was a fun game. Like a live-action meme.

These were mine:

1. Right after you've cut out a pattern and you're about to make the first seam, and you know that within a few hours what you are making will take shape enough for it to be recognisable. It's the bit of sewing that is after the boring bit (cutting the pattern out) and before the hard bit (finishing and fitting) and is the most rewarding.

2. Cars in America; road trips with my dad, driving around with my friends and listening to Ben Folds. But only in America- cars in Britain are different.

3. Christmas, I love everything about Christmas.

4. Buying a glass bottle of coke from one of the police box coffee stands and walking across the Meadows with it on a windy day because with each sip you take, the tune of the wind whistling across the top of the bottle changes.

5. Sex.

I can think of about a million more and I might replace Christmas with making people laugh who don't normally laugh (Kate and Alexander are the two people whose laughs when they are mildly amused are greatly distinguishable from their laughs when something is ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS, and the latter is a lot of fun to induce)

In other news, I am aware I haven't done a proper update in a while, I had forgotten how busy the school year is. It is good so far, except for issue of (see last two entries) which is altogether confusing and upsetting. I have a job interview on Friday. I am having a flatwarming (it comes very late) party on Saturday where the theme is you have to bring us a bottle of booze and dress up as the country that the booze came from. The kitchens are the bane of my existence as usual, I am starting to seriously worry because we don't have a LOT of time and Ben apparently doesn't think it's extremely important that we haven't designed Act Three yet. I think this is massively important. But we'll see.

Places to go and people to meet, see you guys later.

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Mint Royale - Harpy

I am beginning to think that my idea of love varies pretty drastically from most other people.

Tags: deep thoughts
Current Mood: melancholy, unsure
Current Music: The Chemical Brothers - Close Your Eyes

The other day I thought I would take some pictures of my room and flat for you guys. I took a lot. So you can see where I live, it's sort of interesting.

( they are behind here )

Well! That was fun. I am sorry I could not do fun .gifs like Justin but I think my rooms are too small to do it properly. Anyway I think it will be fun if I do that meme again, but modified, so kindly ask me to take a photo of anything in my flat, anything you would like to see, and I will upload it. Except obviously things like "LAUREN'S UNDERWEAR DRAWER" because that is just a little weird and I'm not a privacy invader.

Tags: edinburgh, flat, pictures
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Steely Dan - Chain Lightning

A simple query.

Poll #825543 Dreams
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

Do dreams really mean anything?

By which it would be more accurate to say, if one has a dream three times in a fortnight about chocolate cake, does that mean one wants chocolate cake or that one has just been spending way too much time in a bakery?

I'll update again later.

Tags: polls
Current Mood: back to sleep

So basically if you are a human being on the planet earth these are the two things you are trying to tell me: Steve Irwin is dead, and the New Facebook is confusing. I know both of these things already, they are both relatively sad. And by that I mean Steve Irwin is sad and Facebook is UNsad, because I like it, so fuck off with your invitations to join things like "REMOVE THE NEWS FEED FEATURE FROM THIS ENTIRELY VOLUNTARY STALKING WEBSITE THAT I DON'T HAVE TO EVEN USE" groups.

I believe that I have lost my class ring. I am fairly sure it must be in my room somewhere because the last action I can remember is deciding not to put it on one morning when I knew I was going to do something with my hands- get messy or clean or something else. I have checked the pockets of all my trousers and coats and in my bedside table drawers and on the floor where i thought it might have rolled with no luck. It is very frustrating because I figure if I could just move everything and search around the floorboards it would be somewhere, but it's tiny and it rolls so it is difficult to find. And it is actually one of my more prized possessions and I miss having it on my finger.

I went to the zoo today and saw some animals, it was nice especially the meerkats and otters. I think they were my favourite, although we also saw some very cute capybaras which made me think of magicdufflepud. I love that I have more to write about my class ring than I do about a whole day at the zoo.

Current Mood: crazy
Current Music: Alicia Keys - Girlfriend

Fringe is over (I am late on saying this I realise) and now it is back to the daily grind. I managed to see most of the shows that I wanted to, for a minimum of money (clever me working at Bedlam and making other people give me tickets to things) so it was good. My favourite shows were probably Radio and Geronimo, which just goes to show that Bedlamites have the most talent I think. I do agree with Alex, Fringe feels a bit like an invasion, a bunch of people moving to my city and trying to give me flyers and throwing their rubbish everywhere and pretending like they belong here when they don't. But some of them were all right I suppose. And I loved it really.

I have very much enjoyed the craziness of 106 Marchmont Road during August, we have had loads of people come and go and come again, sleeping in various rooms, and that has been lovely. However I am quite ready for it to be settled down and come Friday it will be just me, Kate and Lauren which is how it was always meant to be. Not that I don't love everyone- Geraldine and Helena and Andrew and everyone who stayed for extended periods of time, but it will be very calming to have the three of us and only the three of us in the flat at once. As for why I feel sad, I am sure everyone understands. And I think I will be okay, after all I am listening to Texas. There's not really much more you can do than that!

Andrew and I went to Glasgow yesterday and visited shops. I went to Primark and may I just say I love Primark and I don't understand why we have no Primark in Edinburgh. WHY. I may write a letter of complaint. I am sure I would keep them in business by myself even if no one else in the city shopped there. I bought three bras for FOUR POUNDS EACH. For those of you who don't buy bras that is a very good deal. And six pairs of socks for two quid. TOTAL. I also went to a discount shoe shop and got high heels THEY ARE ADORABLE! for less than a fiver. I love Glasgow, we should go more often. Definitely a Christmas trip I think. I also love Christmas, it's very soon! Only four months.

Andrew left his AJ here, I knew he would leave something. He is a very silly boy.

Tags: edinburgh, flat, theatre
Current Mood: sad
Current Music: Texas - In Demand

Utterly sadly, updating from the box office. Work work work.

I have internet in the flat now, which is nice. My flatmates are all using my computer until we get a wireless router. However I am still doing a 40 hour work week which means I am busy. But money, yay. YAY.

Tomorrow night Andrew and I are going to see the Dresden Dolls, which I had previously thought was sold out but for which some tickets mysteriously materialised through Becky. YAY. I am very excited especially as it will be my fifth time seeing them. That is quite a few times you might say! And it is my day off tomorrow so we will go shopping.

I like shopping.

Tags: work
Current Location: box office
Current Mood: content
Current Music: Styrofoam and Sarah Shannon - I Found Love

A query:

Why is my life full of posh Englishmen.

Tags: edinburgh
Current Location: bedlam box office
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: none, shall remedy immediately

In Scotland.

No snakes on either plane :(

Moved into the flat yesterday. Every surface in the flat is slightly off-kilter: shelves, walls and built-in surfaces have varying degrees of slant, and anything placed on the floor wobbles. The floors are scuffed and the walls covered in remnants of old sticky-tac. The furniture is in poor condition and completely mismatched, the hot water in the kitchen doesn't work, the builders in the scaffolding across the courtyard can see directly into the shower, the radio often stops playing CDs in the middle of a track, the floorboards are loose and in order to get to the garden you have to go through a veritable graveyard corridor of abandoned bike parts and unsecured electrical wires.

In short, we love it more than anything in the entire world and I personally want to live there for the rest of my life. New address in flocked post following this one.


RPG people, please do not think I have abandoned you! I imagine at least two weeks until I have constant internet every day. Wait eagerly for my return, update my characters if you need to. I shall do what I can!!!

Tags: edinburgh, flat
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: Modest Mouse

I normally introduce the concept of my sister, to people who have never met her, by saying "Well...she's a cheerleader." This generally does it for everyone, because now they have an idea they can fit my sister to, and they immediately say something like "She must be very different than you!" which I suppose means I am the anti-cheerleader in their mind. I can tell them more things about her that will help them along in their stereotype. I can follow it up by saying she likes rap and country (the universal exclusions in every indie kid's favourite music list) and that her extracurricular activities include ballet dancing and horseback riding. That she has a MySpace profile with such things in it as "Favorite Book: lol do magazines count??" She's a couple of inches taller than me, a cup size bigger, and about ten times as attractive despite being four years younger. That she decorates her cell phone with rhinestones and thinks boys who wear trucker hats and basketball shorts are hot. I can tell them all of these things, and all of these things end up implied in the basic statement, "She's very different than me. For one thing, she is a cheerleader."

In the geek-chic world I dip my toes in fairly often, it's okay to make fun of cheerleaders. This is considered the sort of stereotyping that is not bad. Because the media tells us cheerleaders are dumb and it's okay to laugh at them. Because the cheerleaders represent the popular girls who made fun of you in high school? Because they are the eternally peppy rays of sunshine that intrude into your Daria-esque cynicism and don't realise how deep your worldview is? Because in an activity so concerned with appearance, they are too shallow to see your inner beauty?

Whatever. If you have a grudge against some popular girl from your high school, whatever. But before you start confusing THAT particular girl with EVERY cheerleader, I have two points to make.

1. Not all cheerleaders are dumb. Take this quiz for me - do you agree with the following statements: It is not okay to assume that someone who writes Harry Potter fanfiction is a sexual pervert who should not be allowed around children. It is not okay to assume that because someone wears black most of the time, she is a Goth. It is not okay to assume that because someone lives alone with two cats, she is a fat and lonely spinster. Yes? Then WHY IS IT OKAY to assume that because someone is on a cheerleading squad, she is unintelligent. At almost all public schools, you cannot do an extracurricular and be DUMB. Cheerleaders have to keep their GPA high, establish a good rapport with their teachers for recommendations, attend classes, practices and games. There are cheerleaders who take AP classes, are valedictorians, go to good colleges and go on to get good jobs.

2. BUT WAIT. Here's the part where you point out that my sister ISN'T intelligent, remember the part where she doesn't have any favorite books and doesn't read unless she has to? Fine. She's not listening to Chopin, she's shaking her ass to Eminem. She's not learning HTML, she's adding sparkly banners that say SCHS CHEER PRIDE to her MySpace page. I doubt she could point out Iraq on a map, she can't figure out when "its" needs an apostrophe, she can't do long division by hand, the other week she presented me with a written list of the pros and cons of cutting her hair, whatever. Listen closely because this is a difficult thing to wrap your mind around, and I know because it took me years: worth does not depend on how many books you have read, how many degrees you have, how big your vocabulary is, the complexity of the math you can do, or your GPA. Because as soon as you assume that, you step into the same role as someone who equates value with wealth or body weight or ANYTHING else.

Remember those facts from the second paragraph? Here are some more. My sister plays cello and piano and can sight-read and understand sheet music. She mucks horse shit out of stalls in 100 degree weather without complaining. She can tell you almost everything about English saddleseat riding, including all of the rules and regulations for every horse show in the Missouri/Illinois area. One of her favourite bands is Radiohead. She hates summer and vacations because that means she doesn't get to go to school. She can calm a crying baby in about five minutes flat. She loves Star Wars. When she talks to someone she doesn't know very well, she establishes a rapport in a way that my awkward fumbling for conversation NEVER does. She can draw. She understands how to put together an outfit that fits and flatters her body, and never looks sloppy. She is eternally fair and non-judgemental about her friends. She is a good Christian with a very firm moral code and is unafraid to tell me when she thinks I am wrong or unwise.

When I was fifteen I wore clothes bought in the boys' section at Target and listened to shitty goth rock, was kissing girls and hanging out with boys who liked to vandalise property. I was reading "adult" books and writing (according to my teachers) mature stories and essays, true, but I didn't have anywhere near the emotional maturity my sister has right now. It took me all of high school to develop the people skills that come to her easily. And if I can get through college with half the social tact and grace that my sister has, I'm going to be a happy person.

I don't really care what you think about cheerleaders, and I don't really want to hear about how they used to call you fat in gym class which made you depressed for years. All I'm saying is, get some respect and some perspective, and the next time you say "Your sister must be very different than you," you had better mean that she is amazing and I have a lot to learn from her.

Standard rant disclaimers apply, I'm not talking specifically about anyone and it was inspired by a RL incident and not an online one, yes I'm being unnecessarily ANGRY and no I don't really want to hear any counter arguments. Next week expect a rant against PMS but not in the way that you might think!

Tags: deep thoughts, family
Current Mood: hostile
Current Music: RENT - Will I

Does anyone have a torrent or YSI for tonight's Project Runway yet.

I need it as I missed the show being at my sister's horsey thing.

I NEED IT NOW.

I already accidentally spoiled myself for the auf decision, but DON'T TELL ME ANYTHING ELSE.

And. I. Am. Really. Really. Sad.

Current Mood: distressed
Current Music: star wars

My life is pretty amazing right now as I have discovered that there is such thing as MAGIC SCHOOL BUS FANFICTION, yes that's right, Magic School Bus the kids' show with Ms. Frizzle and the nine year old kids. THERE IS A WHOLE FANDOM APPARENTLY. And it seems to have a fair few people in it. AND SLASH??

I can't really describe how awesome this is. It's basically impossible to tell you.

ETA: ASL;KGHDSA;LGKHS WHY DID THIS FF.N STORY END ON A CLIFFHANGER. DO PHOEBE AND ARNOLD GET BACK TOGETHER OR DO THEY NOT.

Current Mood: SO EXCITED
Current Music: who cares

Functionally, one week until I leave. It's time for a glorious to-do SCHEDULE which is something I haven't done since termtime. Feel free to ignore this as I am sure you will do anyway.

TODAY: Call people to organise Six Flags trip, buy some coke cans that will have Six Flags discount coupons.
TOMORROW: Sew the rest of my sister's dress.
MONDAY: Six Flags perhaps?
TUESDAY: Get a haircut, go to Borders with Andy.
WEDNESDAY: Go to Maggie's horse show.
THURSDAY: Go shopping with Maggie, go to the post office.
FRIDAY: Pack, put movies/TV shows on Steven.
SATURDAY: Finish packing.

MISCELLANEOUS: Give Adriana her CD, call/email Ehlmann.

I finally fixed my ipod, which really meant "get a new one for free" at the Apple store, its name is Steven (see current music). I will miss Nigel but Steven is better (not broken). So now what I need from you is music recommendations to keep me content on my plane ride! In order to help you in this task here is a list of my top ten favourite artists right now. I prefer fast music to slow music and I like lyricists who are very good, but I am not picky and will listen to any genre. SO PLEASE TO HELP.

1. Steely Dan
2. Mint Royale
3. Kanye West
4. Sufjan Stevens
5. The Dresden Dolls
6. Spice Girls
7. Everclear
8. Andrew Bird
9. The Magnetic Fields
10. I CAN'T THINK OF A NUMBER TEN THAT'S HOW MUSIC-STARVED I AM

Music that I listen to constantly all the time of course still includes Velvet Underground, Radiohead, Hooverphonic, Ben Folds.

Looking over my last entry I realise it's kind of retarded that when asked what is the worst thing about America I am like "George W Bush, the corruption of a bureaucratic government too alienated from the people it is meant to represent, Ann Coulter, a societal reliance on the car as a primary means of transportation, wastefulness greed and materialism" but when I am asked what is the worst thing about Scotland it is "not getting to watch Project Runway on TV." The UK is run rampant with corrupt government officials and various other problems such as racial and class prejudice, growing lack of an industrial or product-based economy etc etc but because the Daily Show isn't there to spoonfeed these things to me I don't think about them.

Tags: lists, music
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: Ben Folds - Steven's Last Night in Town

( My thoughts watching Project Runway )

Spoilers obviously. Hahahahaha also Queer Eye is apparently going to make over a REN FAIRE DUDE how awesome is that.

The worst part of living in Scotland is that Project Runway does not come on TV. It was agony to not be able to watch it last year when I had dormitory internet that wouldn't deal with torrents. This year will hopefully be better.

Current Mood: creative
Current Music: theme soooooooong in my head

THINGS TO DO BEFORE I GO BACK TO EDINBURGH:

1. Get my ipod fixed hopefully tomorrow.
2. Finish sewing my sister's homecoming dress.
3. Go school shopping with my sister, help her buy many exciting clothes.
4. I suppose I should put some credit in my Skype out account and call the National Insurance number place and set up an appointment because otherwise that will be a PROBLEM. I'm not going to do this.
5. Get my hair cut, I'm almost tempted to let Mike do it since I cut his hair.
6. Go to Six Flags if I can swing it.
7. PACK????

So anyway I am SOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED there is a bunch of shit I need to do that I keep forgetting. This happens all the time, I can only assume it will work itself out. BUT I'M SO EXCITED

I have to say that although plagiarism is not cool I sort of feel bad for this Harvard chick-lit author who is being accused of like blatantly ripping off another YA chick-lit author. (First of all I don't know why every chick-lit author doesn't get accused of this because all the books are basically the same, I AM SORRY THOSE OF YOU WHO LIKE CHICK-LIT BUT I THINK IT SUCKS, THAT IS JUST MY OWN PERSONAL OPINION AND I STAND BY IT) I read the passages that are meant to be the same and it seems like she probably did it on purpose because there are SO MANY of them, but if I were an author I would like live in fear of this happening to me on a smaller scale. Like I would be writing and be like "ha! what a brilliant phrase or idea, I am a genius" and then it would turn out to be taken nearly verbatim from some book I had read a long time ago and forgotten about because my subconscious mind canNOT remember things like that. I would just NOT notice that it had come from somewhere else and then I would end up in JAIL or wherever they put plagiarists.

Tags: books, lists
Current Mood: WOW

Results of baby names poll more interesting than I thought they would be. It turns out the majority of you plan on naming your children after fictional characters. This I suppose is not as strange as it might seem at first. I don't really want to ask how many of those would be Harry Potter names.

Names also interesting although dudes you canNOT name your children some of these things, I am serious. Like Carina if you name a kid Bastien and live anywhere but FRANCE he is going to be an unhappy child. And Claire anyone named Aythan will disown you. Although your brother's name is Bevan so I guess maybe your family just has weird names (this is true when I think about your last name, so I take that back, go ahead and name them crazy things). Rin MAYBE gets a pass on this because she's MALAYSIAN.

Speaking of Rin it would appear that Italy won. I did not watch the game which some of you may find surprising and others of you may not because you don't give a shit, I am sure it was a fascinating and entertaining match but the only international teams I would say I really SUPPORT are England and Sweden (and maybe the US if they ever got good enough for me to find it worth it) so I lost interest in the finals. I feel the same towards Italy and France (meaning I think both Totti and Henry are HOT) so it was not something I really wanted to watch.

About two weeks left until I go "home" are you excited I know I am. That means here it is time for a list.

THINGS I MISS ABOUT GREAT BRITAIN

1. Boots (I LOVE BOOTS!!! That is where I buy everything mostly)
2. The BBC
3. My university and schoolwork and classes.
4. Being able to walk everywhere without it being too HOT
5. Tesco (This is where I buy everything I don't buy at Boots)
6. Trains and buses
7. A government that isn't (mostly) completely crazy
8. BEING ABLE TO DRINK LEGALLYYYYYYYYYYYY
9. Premiership games on television, and rugby sometimes
10. Eating at good places like Pizza Express YUM

So hopefully when I make my triumphant return all of these things will converge on me at once.

Tags: lists
Current Mood: silly
Current Music: Sufjan Stevens - Jacksonville

I was reading the entry made today by Miss Jane Hu (who? I hear you ask) about how she would name a child Grace so that "Gracie" could be played at her daughter's wedding. And I thought, foolish Jane! you would surely not name a child after a Ben Folds song. You are kidding, ha ha. But then later I was listening to Mary by the Scissor Sisters and I caught myself thinking about what a cute name Mary was for a kid. And I was like my goodness, maybe I WOULD name someone after a song. So then I wondered what other people thought.

1. Pretend you want to have kids if you don't want to.
2. Pretend you are going to name them.
3. Fill out poll.

Of course those of you who have children (I think there are like three on my flist) should feel free to answer the questions for what you have done.

Poll #761571 BABY NAMES
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

What would influence you to name your child(ren)?

What else would influence you?

Are middle names important?

Out of curiosity, what are your favourite baby names?

Tags: polls
Current Mood: curious
Current Music: No Doubt - Making Out

Oh, computadora. If only you worked properly.

I'm going to North Carolina tomorrow, so I won't be back for a week and will have scant online time...I hope this is okay with everybody. (It's probably not)

In more important news, today for the first time in MONTHS I did all my laundry at once rather than follow the usual pattern of having clean-but-not-put-away clothes in the hamper and dirty clothes on the floor, and switching those piles accordingly when the hamper got empty. But no, I have put away every piece of clothing I own except what I am wearing. Which gives me a rather good opportunity to count pants. As it happens I discovered I have 24 pairs of pants in this house at the moment, plus I believe I left a few pairs in boxes in Edinburgh. Which means in total I have nearly thirty pairs of pants (these are underpants pants, not trousers pants) which might be excessive? I don't know what the normal amount of underwear to own is. Please advise. I have a $50 Victoria's Secret gift card and am going to have to exercise considerable willpower to get what I need (bras) instead of what I want (more pants). This does however mean I could refrain from doing laundry for one month and not have to wear the same underwear twice.

It is important for livejournal to know my secrets.

Current Mood: busy
Current Music: see first sentence of entry

I'm trying to hold my tongue because I don't want to shoot my mouth off and cause more damage than I anticipate. Especially since I haven't heard the proverbial "both sides of the situation" and because I'm hardly one to throw stones, as an incident which occurred earlier this spring will prove, and gossip of any kind is generally best kept to oneself if you don't want to make a large mistake.

But damn it I'm sunburnt, I haven't got AIM or MSN, I haven't spoken to my girls in like WEEKS, it is hot in Florida, and to top it all off I still have two months before I can go back to Edinburgh. So I will just say that if you're going to lie to Miss Alex Engel i.e. one of the most amazing people I know, you do not deserve her regard or my friendship...and if you are not friends with me you are missing out on a hell of a lot of awesome.

I'M REALLY ANGRY!!! WHAT A STUPID FUCKING THING TO DO!!! HOGG YOU ARE A COMPLETE RETARD!!!!

Current Location: FUCKING FLORIDA
Current Mood: pissed off

My internet appears to be down, or at least a wee bit shaky.

I am going to Florida on Monday...you may contact me on my mobile phone (the American number, 6362880693) or perhaps I will have internet down there...I really do not know.

America remains much the same, I watch a lot of television.

Due to the unfortunate internet problem I will not be able to torrent tonight's Doctor Who and I wasn't able to get last week's either. Sad face.

Current Location: family computer
Current Mood: confused
Current Music: none

THINGS TO ACCOMPLISH THIS SUMMER:

- completely clean out my room and decide what needs to be moved to Edinburgh
- get a job for July and July only!
- maybe finish my dollhouse
- News Offensive website
- "help" Maggie make homecoming dress
- re-learn how to drive
- read (this is constant), maybe knit some socks

I am also going to have to learn how to use torrents so that I can download episodes of British shows that I am missing. Doctor Who and Great British Menu for a start!

Could write loads about being home and how truly strange it is. But of course it is strange, no one expected it to be completely normal right away. And I am sure most of you know how weird it is to go home after freshman year at university, although perhaps only glowingmary has quite the same experience. The first summer at home...hmmm. On the plane ride I was thinking about how it is weird that I constantly miss my friends and family, in Edinburgh I think about them quite a bit, always fondly. And yet I would say I never feel homesick and when I am in Saint Charles it doesn't really feel that great. I think that it has a lot to do with how comfortable I feel in both places- when I am in Edinburgh and missing my friends, what I really want is not to go home and see them but for them to come see me. It is the environment in which I feel the most confident and at ease...whereas in St. Charles it just feels a bit like high school over again. But this is fine and everyone has to deal with it.

I was also able to pinpoint something which I hadn't realised was bothering me, but it was. Without being too specific I decided to allow myself to miss everyone in Edinburgh rather than thinking of specific people as more or less miss-worthy, if that makes any sense. Like I was trying to put labels and definitions on something and becoming increasingly frustrated at how generally bad I felt about the situation. But then I realised I felt bad not because of what was going on, but because I was simply going to miss the person. And it's quite possible to not like someone or be angry with them or be unsure about them, and still miss them if you are going away. So as usual my attempt to be cryptic has degenerated into confusion.

The first thing I need to do on the above list is the cleanout. I need to give up all the shit I've kept for years. Why do I suddenly get this urge as soon as I come home, to throw away bits and pieces of my former life? I have as of five minutes ago officially been awake for 24 hours and yet I do not feel tired.

Tags: lists
Current Mood: strange
Current Music: none

Looking through my college entries the other day for a bit of a laugh. It is so strange to me that one year ago I had just decided to go to Edinburgh. I decided around April 21st. The whole college process is sort of strange through hindsight. It is spring and every high school senior I know goes through the same thing in the spring, the same decision process, getting their acceptance letters and making the big, big decision. It's amazing to look at entries from September 2004, my day-to-day lists and spreadsheets and comparision charts and all of the figures that float around. Pro con pro con pro con.

"I mean- of course I want to go there- I can't think of anything I want more, actually. Or have ever wanted more." "I desperately want to go to Scotland more than anything but it is going to take a lot of work to get there." "A huge part of me wants to fly over and never come back." And finally finally, "I'm getting a new passport this weekend." And I did. And I came.

It seems to be the general tune of my friendslist to be writing reflective entries about their first year of university so perhaps I shall do the same. I have truly never been happier. I love this university so much. It's just perfect for the way that I learn and study. No one checks up on me or makes sure I'm doing my work, no one gets in my business, I know exactly who to go to if I need help but no one offers it to me unless I ask. I never feel as though I am being pandered to, I don't have to take any core classes or study anything that I don't want to study. I used to imagine university as being a lot like TiP, i.e. sitting about and talking about things with some people I liked and some people I didn't like, coming up with utterly pretentious things that seem wonderful at the time but that you grow out of fairly quickly. Not so! I just learn about things I love, take exams, write essays, take notes in lectures and read. A lot. And I am getting my degree, getting on with it, and everyone else is doing the same. It's amazing.

I don't know how to write the next bit at all, so I won't. But I will miss this place. Ten weeks gone.

Hey look it's ( the reveal ). I didn't upload any musics sorry :(

Tags: college
Current Mood: crappy
Current Music: Thomas Dolby - Flat Earth, The

Feeling pretty poignant:
- beautiful night
- 4:30 in the morning
- last exam done
- people around me all day today
- birthday party on Saturday
- flying "home" Tuesday morning
- going to pack tomorrow

My friends were drinking wine tonight, as they do. They're beautiful girls. It's interesting the way in which my intoxication will always be just a wee bit- just ever so slightly different from theirs. Number one, I don't drink wine and it's a different sort of drunk. Number two, we come from different places. This applies to a lot of things. I started to put things away; my walls are bare. The sun's coming up.

I am not a self-destructive person and I have very few bad habits. But there are times when I am about to do something and someone asks me why and I can't answer. And they know it will be bad for me and I know the same, but for some reason I will be happier once I have put myself through it. I can't avoid it. Back when I wrote I used to wonder if perhaps- I simply wanted to experience all of life so that that could come through in my writing. You cannot write a sad story having never been sad. But then I decided not to force life on myself.

And then I stopped writing altogether actually. I really need to go to bed.

Tags: deep thoughts
Current Mood: the streetlamps have just gone off
Current Music: The Velvet Underground - Beginning to See the Light (how ironic itunes shuffle)

Exaaaaaaaaaam Tiiiiiiime

My room currently: one large pile of shit. I keep sort of looking at it and thinking, wow there's a bunch of shit in here. The number of boxes I am going to have to squirrel away around Edinburgh to be kept safe until my return is astonishing. The number nears infinity. I have too much stuff. I knew this already. I kicked the arse of my architectural history exam yesterday, it was a beautiful thing. I may have gotten the date of the Secession Building wrong on the last essay but that will be easily overshadowed by the number of insightful things I had to say about continental Art Nouveau. It really helps when you like what you're writing about, I find. I have an exam today which I am prepared to fail. There is no shame in resitting an exam. Although I am wearing my lucky shirt, so there you go. It will obviously be fine.

I made a to-do list today and it comforted me greatly. I don't think that I am anal about to-do lists because even though I may make a schedule that accounts for every part of my day, I don't much mind if it isn't followed. I'm not obsessive about it. I just really like the act of planning everything out, it calms me down soooo much.

In other news, I leave in about four days.

Yeah.

( felix made this for me )

Tags: college, pictures
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: The Chemical Brothers - Hold Tight London

1. Open a music player.
2. Go to 'all music'/'library'.
3. Hit shuffle/repeat/randomize.
4. Find photos of the first 15 artists/bands that come up (no repeats and no cheating).
5. Have people guess who the artists/bands are.
6. Paste this in your journal and do it too, so I can have fun guessing as well.

( guess away. comments are screened, i'll reveal next week or something )

Hooray. I'll even upload some music at the reveal maybe.

Tags: lists, memes, music, pictures
Current Location: hey a reminder of why i don't use the web editor to update
Current Mood: basically awesome
Current Music: Natalie Imbruglia - Satellite (not one of them)

"That's not what you want," said Kate. "I know you. You're a romantic at heart."

Is this true?

Tags: deep thoughts
Current Mood: confused
Current Music: Hooverphonic - This Strange Effect